Hug From a Father

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Words spoken years ago

cling to me like superglue

not good enough

not thin enough

not pretty enough

not smart enough

your voice is not important

All these words screaming at me:

YOUR NOT WANTED

 

For years I’ve fought with unseen demons

Dancing the dance of Death

For years, I’ve played their game

With scars to prove it

A cut here, a cut there

A drink of alcohol to hide the pain that is underneath

A party here, a party there

Till all I know is the beat of the hypnotic music

I am the puppet

He is the Puppeteer

He is Death

 

With shackles on my blood torn wrists

He leads me deeper and deeper into the abyss

But lo, through my tear-stained face, I see a light so small yet so bright

what is that? I ask the darkness all around

It’s as if the light is scaring even my tormentors to bay.

I squint,

I crawl get a closer look

it’s not a light but a person of Light

Light overwhelms the abyss and my tormentors are on the floor in full worship

Who is this Light that they are so scared of? I whisper to myself

 

And then He looks at me

With a look of LOVE so profound

that gaze jolts me like a defibulator

And I understand

His not just love

He is love

 

As He kneels next to me

I shrivel away

He is clean

I am unclean

Broken-hearted eyes look at me with tears spilling down His face

Why are you crying? I whisper

Surely not for me?

In réponse, He stretches forth His hand

And in His hand, I see the hole

I look up with a question on my face “I did it for you” He says

For me? I whisper

As I look closer, I see that both his hands have holes

and Wait so do His feet

and His side a spear mark

but why?

“I took your sins and became Sin, so that you could be a princess, my child.” He says

but look at me? I whisper

I am torn

bloodied

emotionally scared beyond compare

you want me?

“Oh yes, I do very much” He answers

 

I do not understand

How can it be?

His hand still outstretched

waiting for me to decide

Do I stay in the abyss of darkness

or do I take His hand?

I’m scared- I say

“I know, but trust me.” He says

I look around at the hopelessness

and I look at Him again

 

He must want me very much if He came down to the abyss

To fight the puppeteer

I look at His face once more and

ahhh…His eyes win me over

I put my trembling hand in HIs

and instantly

Transformation takes place

my shackles are gone

my bloodied wrists are healed

my bloodied and dirty dress is replaced with a gown of sheer glittery white

my broken heart has a bandaid on it

And for the first time in forever, I laugh so hard that I sqeak

 

The abyss is transformed into a field of flowers,

all kind of flowers of every color.

Joy radiates from this place

so.much.joy

so.much.laughter.

and He is here

I run to Him and bow before Him

and He in His goodness kneels and gives me the warmest and biggest hug that I have so long craved for

the Hug from a Father

 

This little girl is now home

safe in the arms of her Heavenly Father. 

 

Written By Roxana Bucur:

Roxana Bucur (also known as Roxi) is passionate professional who has travelled the world specially in South Asia, sharing the love of her heavenly Papa.  She is a self-taught artist who enjoys reading, knitting and
spending time with Jesus and family.

 

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