When I walk down the neighborhood street, I see the sun glistening through the leaves on the trees, casting a shadow on the sidewalk ahead. When I go on a hike, the smell of the pine trees and the feeling of the sun on my forehead radiates through my body. The sound of a fireplace, crackling in the background of a cozy evening soothes my soul. Everything is peaceful. Everything is perfect.
This also means, that every cluttered space, or loud noise causes an internal cringe. The loud sound of music playing in the background causes me to not be able to think clearly or relax. An unorganized area causes me to go into an ultimate panic, creating an unproductive stressed out mess.
This is my reality a lot of the time. As a “highly sensitive person” I am very aware of my surroundings. My senses are very in tune with everything that is going on around me and it can cause either the most tranquil and wonderful moment, or it can cause a stressful and panicked moment.
I have found that my environment, and everything going on around me, affects me a lot more than a lot of people I know. A certain scent can cause me to melt into my pillow and curl up in my cozy blankets, or it can cause me to be alert, on edge and slightly uncomfortable. I find it difficult to concentrate in a loud room. A crowd of people makes me anxious and nervous and having to deal with those at the same time sends me into a full on panic.
About a week ago, I was going into a full on panic. I called my mom crying, I told my roommate about it, while crying, I called my dad, I called my sister in law, I texted my brothers and I cuddled my dog to the point of her almost hating me. Needless to say, I was not in the greatest position. Everything around me stressed me out. When I told my counselor about this, he said, “Well, have you thought about changing your environment?” and I had to have a look on my face that said, “Well, yeah! But how the heck am I supposed to do that?!” because he figured it out really quick that this was something that constantly crossed my mind.
I had to think about what was causing the stress, and what was causing the panicked feeling that was bubbling up inside of me? It came down to… environment. Was it organized, cozy, filled with soft pillows and blankets, and just a peaceful place to be? No. It wasn’t. My room and my apartment are definitely the type of environment that soothes me, but I tend to be a little frazzled in other areas of my life. Do you sometimes feel that way too?
My mom did a little bit o’ research and found the “highly sensitive person” which is based off of having some sensory issues that cause the things going on around you to bother you more than the average person. It also is something that can cause a person to be more prone to anxiety and depression, because you FEEL things more. You empathize like crazy and you constantly put yourself in someone else’s shoes, whether you really want to or not. Seriously… it causes a whole lot of stress. Like A LOT!
I have been working more and more on ways to handle this stress and these fears that I currently have in my life, due to too much empathy and feeling, and I am still working on those. I know that the Lord will help me through it, and once again, just like it is written in Esther…. Maybe you were born for such a time as this.
MORE TO COME!
About being a highly sensitive person… what that means… how to deal with it… how to help… things that can help soothe those anxieties and much, much more!